Another week in my apartment down, and an unknown number of weeks left. It was a week that felt more routine. Tuesday was once again not a great day, and there was still a sense of relief when Friday rolled around. I got some good news and despite the unknown, there’s now a more defined path with my research agenda. Gotta take the small victories when I can.
What I learned this week was that I like to have control over aspects of my days and weeks. There are moments in all of this uncertainty that I can define. For me, that’s starting my day with a Sydney workout, drinking Canoe Creek coffee while munching on an English muffin, and easing into my work day. The work day itself is its own can of worms, sometimes full of meetings and other times, an opportunity to dive deeply into projects. But at 5 PM, things are done, and I close my laptop, move my monitor off my table, and go for a walk. Each day I notice something different about my neighborhood and the walk makes me relax and leave work stress behind. Which is key these days since work is in my apartment. Once I’m back home, I can tackle dinner, dabble in my embroidery project, or prepare for a Zoom chat.
I’ve also started some regular hangs, Bachelor night on Mondays, stitching on Saturday afternoons, and early morning Sunday walks. Each time I add an event to my calendar, it helps to make my apartment feel less contained. Connected and optimistic that one day we’ll be hanging out in person.
This weekend I had to cancel my two trips in April. It was tough to admit that I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. A year ago I was traveling every weekend in April. It seemed so tough to be away, but that’s hindsight of course. In some ways, I feel each week represents the emotional spectrum I dealt with in winter 2018 when I spent 20 hours in my car, alone, on I-80. There are moments of clarity, moments thinking this will never end, and always a hope that you’ll get to move your car a little further down the highway. I hope those moments of clarity will continue, and perhaps begin to overshadow the doubt that we’ll never leave